Valentine's Day

February 14, 2008 was a big mile marker in my life and got me to thinking. Lots of thinking.... As many of you know, it was the 5 years anniversary of the day my mom passed away and I didn't realize what an effect it would have on me. I am not one to show much public emotion, but this Valentines Day brought it out. I found myself looking back on the past 5 years and what has occurred in my life and those around me.

My first thoughts went directly to my family, siblings in particular. I have amazing siblings who are some of the strongest people I know. I am so blessed to have siblings that have figured out who they really are, are living full lives and are accomplishing their goals. My brothers have always been great examples to me, but it was my thoughts associated with my little sister that brought out my emotions that day. She was only 15 when we lost my mom and I know it was really hard on her. She was the only one of us still living at home and to this day I am still amazed that she was as strong as she was through her final years of high school. My mom brought up my sister and I to be strong independent women, but I don't think anyone expected Heather to become independent at such a young age. Heather has been on a journey these past few years, trying to find who she is and what she wants from life (as many 18-20 year olds do). I am proud to say that she has found that and is as happy as ever. She has always been a very private person, so not many people have had the opportunity to get to know the true her, but let me tell you, she is one amazing girl and a phenomenal writer (she wrote a breathtaking poem about my mom this Valentines Day). She is truly one of my heroes and I look up to her for so many reasons.

Matt and I in the kitchen on Valentines.

Valentines Day also got me to thinking about my life so far and the wonderful man that I married. We went through quite a bit in our first two years of marriage and learned a lot about each other and how much we can take the most simple things for granted. As you know Matt moved to Seattle from BC, Canada right after we got married and do to visa restrictions, wasn't able to work for the first year of our marriage. My sweet husband kept the house in order (and did a great job) and found work for cash on the side as often as he could. He never complained about doing the laundry, dishes, cooking or about the fact that he was stuck at home while I worked on my career. And when a great job opportunity back in Canada came his way, he said he would only take it if I agreed that it was the best thing for us. Well, as you know we are in Canada, have switched roles and I am now the one who is at home. Until now I didn't realize how frustrating it is to be at home all the time and I am thankful that Matt was such a great support to me and my career when we lived in Seattle. Matt is now able to work in a job he loves and is finishing his business degree at the local university. I am so proud to call him my husband and I thankful that he came into my life. (I still truly think that my meeting Matt was my mom's doing, from up above)

Even though each Valentine's Day brings out a lot of tears and deep reflection regarding my mother I know that she is watching over me and I know everything happens for a reason. That being said, I do still miss her every day!! I miss the phone calls, the late night chats, having someone to watch old movies with, our talks about Jane Austen and Audrey Hepburn (they are our favorites), the way she always made me laugh, her singing to me in the morning, a never ending supply of Avon, her homemade jam, fresh banana bread, homemade orange julius, coming home late at night to always find that she was still awake, someone to go to for advice, someone's shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to about the males in my life, drives to Salt Lake, A&E marathons, afternoon lunches in Logan, Shakepeare Festival tradition in Southern Utah, her support from the sidelines at my sporting events, her silly dancing, her amazing smile, her eccentric clothes, her crazy jewelry, her unbelievable sewing talent, her zest for life, her passion for genealogy, her humble nature, her non-judgmental attitude, her desire to learn new things, her desire to teach her children new things, the fact that she ALWAYS stopped at the historical markers on road trips, her nature to always think about others before herself, and her amazing ability to make you feel like everything would be OK. She is my best friend, my confidant and the most amazing person I have ever known.

I love you and miss you mom!!!!